Wedding Registry 101

Alright, I promised a post about wedding registries.  I have to admit, as a bride to be, wedding registries and checklists were one of my favorite parts about getting married.  I spent quite a few hours on Pinterest looking for good checklists and gathering ideas about what I wanted to register for.  Now that I look back, I have a few hints and tips I'd love to share with you about places to register, the ease of returns (or not, in some cases) and the advantages to some registries after the wedding. 

When we registered for our wedding, I had been living in an apartment by myself for three years, so the need to register for a ton of stuff was unnecessary.  However, I did find that I wanted to update a few of my belongings, as many of them were pretty girly (sorry, Brett!) or they were in need of replacement for better quality, thanks to seeing their better days in college.  :)  We ended up registering at the following locations.  Below you'll find my perks and feedback on many of our registries.    

Crate and Barrel

By far, the easiest registry we did for a multitude of reasons.  Crate and Barrel is super easy to register in store and online.  They also have a really great wedding app where you can update your supply if necessary and it notifies you when something is purchased (I liked that part!)  The app is called Crate and Barrel Wedding and Gift Registry.  You can download it through the App Store.  There were A LOT of kitchen items that we got from there, which I was super excited about.  Returns were also easy in the store and, their perks are the best.  After the wedding they will send you an email for your "complete the registry."  However, as long as you have the email code, you get 10% off the entire store, for any reason, online or in store.   That made my life so much easier as I was setting up our home.  No pressure to use it all in one day or all at once.  Besides, it'll be super useful for some weddings and birthdays that are on the horizon!  

Pros: Returns, Discounts, Customer Service

Cons: I wish they had more things like Pottery Barn. :)

Pottery Barn

I have to admit, I registered at Pottery Barn because I love their store.  I walk in and wish it was my house sometimes.  However, as an overall registry option, I'd probably only give them a grade of about 80%.  Returns were a bit tricky, and it took them awhile to get our "complete the registry" info to us.   Adding items to your registry is super easy, but the 10% off perk is only good for items on your registry, though it is available for 6 months after the wedding.  I found registering at Pottery Barn to be a bit "stiff" in my opinion.  They were welcoming, enough, but not nearly as helpful as Crate and Barrel.  Also, their items are a bit overpriced in my opinion.  Nevertheless, my favorite items from my registry came from Pottery Barn, so it's worth the bit of pain.   Overall, the website is relatively easy to use and modify.  I do wish they had an app, but they don't.  Maybe one day...

Pros: Love the store. 

Cons: Ease of use, store discount

Target

I think if you asked my husband what my favorite store was, he'd probably tell you that it was Target. Target has a lot of cute, practically priced items, and it was a no brainer to register there.  Overall, I'd probably give Target a grade of 90% satisfaction on our registry.  Some of the pros were the ease of registration.  You can always go in-store and get the registry scanner, but if you have the Target app on your smartphone, you can also add items by scanning the barcode on your smart phone and it will add them to your registry.  I especially liked that because some items that I saw in store were NOT online, and I could just add them to the registry when I had my phone on me in the store.  Super easy.  I also liked registering with Target because it was easy access for a lot of people.  My biggest frustration with the Target Registry were the returns and the discount for completing the registry.  The returns weren't all cohesive, and it was a good thing I brought in some of my gift receipts.  Additionally, the discount for after the wedding is good for one day and one online shopping experience.  Talk about pressure.  I had a few sales I was trying to catch and I didn't have much time to make use of what I wanted.  Sad day. 

Pros: Ease of registering and updating the registry

Cons: Discounts and Returns

I know that the registries above aren't for everyone, so here are some other options that we considered:

Bed, Bath, and Beyond

Kohl's

My Registry

Macy's

Williams-Sonoma

Wedding Registry Checklist

One of the most overwhelming parts of setting up our registry was deciding what to register for.  I had been living by myself for three years prior to us getting married, so I had accumulated a lot of items that you would typically register for, such as pots and pans, knives, plates, and linens.   However, I didn't want to miss out on registering for important items, so I looked over a few checklists to make sure that I included everything we could potentially use.   I also took this opportunity to update many of the items that I'd had since college that had seen better days.  

Wedding registry checklists can be super detailed or very general.  I'm linking and crediting a few that I found to be the most helpful.  You decide which one works best for you! :)

The Knot Ultimate Wedding Registry Checklist

Pretty Little Wedding Things All-Inclusive Wedding Registry Checklist

Real Simple Wedding Registry Checklist

Crate and Barrel Wedding Registry Checklist (Printable)

My Wedding Ultimate Registry Checklist (Printable and Simple)

Happy Registering!

Katie

Our Foot Washing Ceremony

With the wedding being a little over a month ago, it has been a lot of fun to hear everyone's reactions to the wedding and their thoughts on the day that they shared with us!

One of the highlights of our wedding day was our foot-washing ceremony.  Many of our guests commented on how well done it was, and honestly, it was probably our favorite part of the wedding.  Since then, we've had a few people ask us how we incorporated it into our ceremony and I thought I'd take a few moments to share.

When Brett and I began thinking about the design of our ceremony, we knew a few things:

1. We wanted it to reflect the gospel.
2. We wanted it to reflect our personalities.
3. We wanted it to be meaningful.

With this in mind, we decided to incorporate a few elements into our ceremony: an opening prayer with a welcome that laid the foundation for our marriage, a foot washing ceremony, and our very own vows in addition to traditional vows.  While I could go on and on about the other elements, the one that I will focus on in this blog post is our foot washing ceremony.

Why did you choose to wash each other's feet?

As we began to think about our ceremony we really focused in on the fact that biblical marriage connects beautifully to the gospel: Jesus, taking the form of a servant, chose to serve his disciples by washing their feet, even though he was the King of Kings; and that Jesus is the bridegroom of heaven, and that we the church are the bride of Christ. From there, we considered what scriptures we could share that would connect those two thoughts and ideas.  Ultimately, we chose to focus on three sections of scripture that connected these ideas.  Our first scripture was Ephesians 5:21-31 which discusses how marriage connects us to Christ through submission, or servanthood to the other person, and how wives and husbands should love each other with the same love that Christ demonstrates to the church. The scripture itself is as follows:

Ephesians 5:21-31. 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for

Christ. 22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is 

the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the 

Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to 

their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved 

the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the 

washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant 

church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and 

blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own 

bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his 

own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- 30 for we 

are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and 

mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”.

We also chose to use Philippians 2:5-8 which demonstrates Christ's choice to take on the form of a servant by emptying himself and considering equality with God something that could not be grasped. The scripture reads as follows:

5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

6 Who, being in very nature[a] God,
    did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing
    by taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
    being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man,
    he humbled himself
    by becoming obedient to death—
        even death on a cross!

And finally, John 13:12-18 which describes how servanthood connects to washing each others feet.

12 When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. 13 “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14 Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. 15 I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16 Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17 Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

So, you may be wondering, what is the connection between these three scriptures?  Well, the ultimate idea is this:  Biblical marriage is a reflection of servanthood, one man and one woman dying to their own desires to become one flesh and to love one another unconditionally, just as Christ loved the church.  Because of Christ's love of his church, he took on the nature of a servant and chose to serve others around him, even though he was God himself.  He chose to serve and submit, even to death on a cross, just as we choose to submit to each other until death separates us.  By washing each other's feet, we chose to demonstrate that we were willing to commit to serving and loving one another until Jesus takes us home and that we bless each other by washing the other person's feet.

How did it fit into your ceremony?

Now that we have the basis for our decision, let's talk about the technicalities behind the foot washing. We chose to use this in place of our unity candle or sand pouring.  The foot washing came right after the declaration of intent.  Our ceremony went in this order:

Welcome and Prayer
Declaration of Intent
Foot Washing
Reading of Vows
Exchanging of Rings
Pronouncement

We had our officiant take some time to build the background for our foot washing while we took time to undo our shoes and pour the water into the basin.  Brett and I had discussed how we would remove the shoes:  We would each remove our own before the foot washing began.  Brett would wash my feet first and then I would wash his.  We also made sure that we had plenty of towels, including one for me to kneel on, as our ceremony was outside.  After we had dried each others feet REALLY well, I slipped my shoes on quickly and helped him get his shoes and socks back on.

We also chose to use the song Lead Me by Sanctus Real as we washed each others feet.  The song is beautiful and talks about how we should ask the Lord to lead us in our marriage and our relationships, as we are weak in our own strength.

After the foot washing, we began the exchanging of the vows, and from there we finally made it to the part where we got to be Mr. and Mrs. Sabol. That was my other favorite part. :)

Here are a few of the pictures from the foot washing, we think they are beautiful.  The wonderfully talented Ruby Peoples Photography took them for us.  I hope you enjoy them!

Happy Serving,

Katie

Save the Dates!

Okay ya'll!  I am so excited to finally get a chance to sit down and work on this dream of mine: The Adorable Mess.  I have been completely and utterly consumed with wedding planning, teaching, and now we're in the process of moving.  Ahh!  Life has been completely crazy.

I'm planning to do a series over the next few weeks featuring the wedding: what I've learned from wedding planning, resources that were helpful, and advice for brides to be.  Today's post is pretty short, featuring our Save the Date, a "save the date" timeline, and some great resources for printing your save the dates.

Since we got married on a holiday weekend, we knew ahead of time that Save the Dates were going to be REALLY important for two reasons: so that people could set aside that weekend in advance to actually come to our wedding, and to make sure that they were able to get hotel rooms at a reasonable rate.  We didn't want our guests to have to pay an arm and a leg to share in our special day.

The time line for getting the save the dates and the invitations out was probably one of the most stressful parts of the wedding for me, considering the fact that printing and production time usually takes about twice as long as you expect it to.  Talk about wanting to pull your hair out!  Ahhhh!  Therefore, to save you some stress, I'm sharing some hind-sight that I wish I'd considered.

Save the Date Timeline

2-3 Months Before Save the Dates are Mailed (8 Months before the Wedding)

Have your Engagement Pictures Taken (if you want them on your Save the Date)
If you want your engagement pictures on your Save the Date, then make sure you take your engagement photos at least 2-3 months before the Save the Dates need to be mailed.  Things you have to factor in are the photographers personal timeline and the time it takes to edit your photos.  If you're looking for some advice on Engagement Pictures, check out my post Planning your Engagement Photos.

Set Up a Wedding Website
One of the MOST important things you can include on your Save the Date is your website information. Why?  Because it directs your guests to all of the necessary information once your Save the Date arrives.  It is a way to get information to your guests without filling your Save the Date to the brim with information.  I'll be putting up a post later in the week about website options.

1 Month Before Save the Dates are Mailed (7 Months before the Wedding)

Collect AddressesFacebook message everyone, call, text, do whatever you need to do to get those addresses, and make an Excel document of your addresses.  The sooner you have these cataloged and in your computer, the better. 

Decide on your Photo and Layout
I had all kinds of visions for our Save the Date.  However, what really defined our ultimate design choice was our favorite engagement photo.  Sit down and really look at your pictures.  Which image really captures you as a couple?  Which image reflects your wedding design?  From there, try out a few different layouts, remembering to keep your photo in mind.  Also, what kind of save the date will you send?  We chose to send a post card for two reasons: it saved money on printing AND it saved money on postage.  Currently, it only costs about $0.35 per postcard to mail a postcard within the United States.

Choose your Printing Company
This is probably the choice that is the most important.  You'll need to check production and shipping timelines to make sure you get them in enough time to address them!  See below for some printing companies.  Also, you want your Save the Dates to be adorable.  Give yourself enough time to play with design choices and choose the one that makes you the happiest.

What to include on your Save the Dates

• Name of the Bride and Groom
• Date of the Wedding
• City and State of the Wedding
• Website information
• A note that a "formal invitation will follow." 
• Any other pertinent information that can't be communicated via the website. 

Order your Save the Dates
Other than paying for your Save the Dates, this is the best part.  I couldn't wait to get mine in the mail! When you do place your order, make sure you order 10-20 more than you plan to use.  Sometimes you make mistakes.  

2 Weeks before Save the Dates are Mailed

Address your Save the Dates

Remember that Excel Document of all or your addresses?  Now is the time to put it to good use.  Grab some good music or a favorite TV show and start addressing those beauties!

Purchase Postage

Head to your local Post Office to purchase postage.  FYI: Post card postage is cheaper than standard postage.  Nothing like saving a bit of money! :)

Design and Complete your Website

Make sure that website is up and running for your guests to view once they get their Save the Date.

6 Months before your Wedding

Mail your Save the Dates!

Traditionally, Save the Dates are mailed about 6 months before your wedding to make sure that your guests are in the loop with all of you wedding events.  Once you've mailed them, sit back and get excited.  Things are starting to happen!

Save the Date Printing Companies

After much research and being as picky as I am about fonts, I ended up choosing to print our photos through a company called Minted.  They have some ADORABLE designs to choose from.  However, the photo that we ultimately chose really controlled which design we went with.  

Some great options include:

• Minted
• Wedding Paper Divas
• Etsy
• Shutterfly
• Paperless Post (You can also send an e-card as a Save the Date through this company).
• Paper Source
• Love vs. Design 

Our Save the Date! 

Happy Designing,

Katie

Planning Your Engagement Photos

I have to apologize...I think I fell off the map for a bit and have missed posting to The Adorable Mess. Teaching is the most wonderful and the most challenging thing that I've ever done, and it consumes most or all of my time. Not to mention that I'm trying to plan a wedding on top of it all.

I've been meaning to share our engagement pictures with you guys and thought that you might enjoy them.   I'm not going to lie, I stalked Pinterest for hours trying to gather ideas, but in the end what I really wanted was something original.  I was stoked when they were finished and could not have been more pleased with the way that they turned out, but I learned a lot from the process and thought that I'd share my findings with those bride-to-bes out there!

1. Do your research on your photographer.
When I was choosing our photographer, I wanted to pick someone who would be able to gather the essence of us and of our style.  Brett is pretty basic and I tend to be quite a bit more detailed.  I also LOVE vintage photography, so I was interested in finding someone who could capture all of those elements into our photos.  I ended up asking the sister of one of my bridesmaids to do our engagement photos (Rebekah Bronwen Photography) and was tickled with the way she seemed to understand and capture my vision.  We shared emails back and forth, along with my Pinterest board.  If you want to check out some of her other work, visit her Facebook page for some STUNNING shots.

2. Think about what defines you as a couple.
Brett and I met at a camp called River Valley Ranch.  It is a christian camp in northern Maryland full of rolling hills and, in my mind, it is one of the most beautiful places on earth.  When I was thinking about us, I really wanted to do our engagement photos where our story began: at camp.  We met there and, through the Lord's faithfulness, we grew in our love there.  "The Ranch," as we call it, and our relationship with the Lord is what drew us together, which is why I ended up having our photos taken there.  Brett and I are also pretty easy going and we love the outdoors, which is why I chose a more casual wardrobe and it influenced our choice to do our photos outside.

3. Control your "Pinterest pickiness."
When I began this engagement photo journey, I felt myself wanting certain photos or situations that I found through other websites, blogs and on Pinterest.  While it was important that I gather ideas, the ultimate success of our photos depended upon my trust in our photographer to use her skills and abilities to guide us through the photos that we envisioned.  Did I end up with every photo that I pinned to my engagement photo board? No.  Did I end up with the pictures that I wanted? Yes, yes and yes.  I was absolutely THRILLED with the results and most of them didn't even derive from my Pinterest account.

4. Give yourself plenty of time to get your photos back.
I wanted to use our photos in our Save the Dates, which go out about 6-8 months before the wedding.  What I didn't account for was the turn around time to get our photos back.  We were pushing the deadline to get our Save the Dates out, even though our photographer was prompt and had the pictures to us in the timeline that we originally agreed upon.  I just wish I had given myself a bit more room to work.

Here is the amazing work of our wonderful photographer.  Check her out on Facebook if you're in the Maryland area, she's incredibly talented and so much fun to work with!

Married and Bright: Inspiration from Minted

It is all I can do to control my Christmas craze by early November.  My poor family and friends know that by Thanksgiving I have done all I can do to control my need to listen to Christmas music, take in the holiday merriment and bask in the joy that is Christmas.  I got a little ahead of myself this year...I promise I was only in the middle of planning my wedding when I noticed this lovely little contest from Minted, featuring holiday cards.  I tried, I resisted, but I just couldn't help myself.  Anticipating our first Christmas together in 2014, I went ahead and themed my board "Married and Bright."  I hope that you enjoy!

Merry and Bright board by Katie. See more unique stationery